my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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