Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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