My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
