i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
