So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
