found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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