whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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