Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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