have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
