Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
