Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
