You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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