I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
