It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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