This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
