I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
