So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
