oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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