She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
