I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
