Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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