I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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