belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
