Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
