Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
