Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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