if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
