Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
