Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we're making bets on your personal life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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