69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
