So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
