They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think people are normalizing furries
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
