Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
