There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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