I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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