Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
