I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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