i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
