I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
