Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
