He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
