I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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