There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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