I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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