I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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