I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
