Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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