so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
