just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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