So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
