I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
