I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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