Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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