i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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