she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
